First off, I want to just express to James and Jill how sorry I am for your loss. My heart breaks for you and I'm so sorry that things didn't work out as planned. I wanted that uneventful and boring pregancy that I had with the boys for you, but unfortunately that just isn't what happened.
For those of you that don't know but have probably guessed after reading that, we miscarried the lil' baby on Tuesdsay night. Very sad situation for all involved. I think the worst part of all was having to tell Jill the sad news.
A big thank you to all that have been following and encouraging us along the way. It's been fun keeping up with the blog and I've come to learn that we had more followers than I thought.
Also, a big thanks to the Kecks , the future Alipaz's, and the Triggy's for being with us on Tuesday night and taking care of me and Scotty and sticking around at the hospital to the wee hours of the morning. Kasey - a big thank you to you for everything. I must say, you definitely are cut out to be a nurse so keep at it girl!! Oh, and your brownies are the perfect medicine.
And to my wonderful husband...words can't even describe the gratitude I have in my heart for you. I think I have fallen in love with you all over again. You have sacrificed so much in the last couple of months and have never complained once. You've supported me through everything. On Tuesday night, I saw your deep love for me which brought tears to my eyes. You handled the situation better than I ever could have imagined. I love you so much! And thank you for everything. I love you more than any burrito.
I'm still trying to wrap my thoughts around all that has happened. It's been a pretty crazy couple days. But this was an amazing journey and I feel so blessed that Jill and James trusted me with their lil' embryos and it saddens me that i wasn't able to carry full term and give them the baby they so badly desired. But I believe the Lord has a purpose for everything even though we have NO idea what it could possibly be.
I'm praying for you James and Jill and pray that you would have peace in this horrible situation! Love you guys!!! And like you said in the card in the flowers - although this journey is over, we have gained friends...lifelong ones...!!
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
...174bpm
I had another ultrasound today and Melissa (the AWESOME ultrasound technician) said everything looks great. Baby is measuring right on schedule and is measuring perfectly. For those of you that are good with measurements, baby is measuring 2.23cm from head to rump. Heartbeat was up to 174bpm which is perfect. So everything looks great and Melissa (AWESOME ultrasound technician) even gave me permission to call Jill during the ultrasound so she could hear the heartbeat. She was so thrilled to hear the heartbeat. Unfortunately I forgot the camera AGAIN but Melissa (AWESOME ultrasound technician) grabbed her phone and we got the heartbeat and baby on video. Melissa is still trying to send it to me and hopefully it'll come through. So far it hasn't yet.
So, we learned today that baby is looking great and perfect and Melissa is an AWESOME Ultrasound technician! LOL.
So, we learned today that baby is looking great and perfect and Melissa is an AWESOME Ultrasound technician! LOL.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
...the not so smart pregnant chick
That would be me...
I was talking to my friend Jen today, kind of complaining about the nausea I've been having with this pregnancy, etc. She was feeling sorry for me and totally knew what I was going through as she was one that had a really hard time with morning sickness. She was even put on some heavy meds to help her get through the nausea. Well, we were talking and I was telling her that nothing sounded good to me. I told her how we went to dinner last night and after dinner, I didn't feel all that great and even today, I haven't been able to bring myself to eat anything 'cos nothing sounds good. I proceeded to tell her about a beautiful picnic we had at a winery on Saturday (way to go Rachel) and we had these lil' sanny's with cheeses, etc on them. Oh, it was so good - good enough that I went out and bought some more cheeses on Monday 'cos I was obsessing over them. I told her what they were - soft cheeses - and she just about freaked out on me. She was like "Zann, don't you know, pregnant ladies aren't supposed to eat soft cheese." Obviously I didn't 'cos I was eating them on both Saturday and on Monday. She then went and grabbed one of her magazine's that she just got and read to me what I couldn't eat again. Soft cheese was on there.
But here's the good thing, the soft cheeses that they were referring to were cheeses like brie and goat cheeses that are not pasteurized. I grabbed my cheeses out of the fridge and thankfully, all of my cheeses were pasteurized. So, I don't have to throw them away or go take them to Rachel.
You're really deprived of some things when your pregnant and it seems like there's always something new you can't eat. Before it was like "don't drink, don't smoke and you should be fine." Now it's, "don't drink caffeine, no deli meat, no tuna, no soft cheese, no raw fish..." Geez, where's all the fun people? LOL...I'm kidding.
Jill will be glad so I'll post it here - the nausea is still here. I hate it but at the same time, I take it as a welcome sign 'cos it means my body is still making a nice lil' home for baby. Jill likes it (but hates it for my benefit) 'cos it gives her reassurance as well.
My booty...oh man! Last night was bad. I kind of wanted to cry. And for those that know me, I'm not someone that cries a lot or gives into pain. Heck, I walked on a broken ankle with 3 torn ligaments for a year before the Dr's finally did exploratory surgery to find out why I was still saying it hurt. Scotty and I were watching TV and I couldn't get comfortable. The injection sites are starting to burn a lil' during and after the shots. Don't know why but last night was bad. Hoping tonight is a lil' better.
Alright - enough blabbing from me.
I was talking to my friend Jen today, kind of complaining about the nausea I've been having with this pregnancy, etc. She was feeling sorry for me and totally knew what I was going through as she was one that had a really hard time with morning sickness. She was even put on some heavy meds to help her get through the nausea. Well, we were talking and I was telling her that nothing sounded good to me. I told her how we went to dinner last night and after dinner, I didn't feel all that great and even today, I haven't been able to bring myself to eat anything 'cos nothing sounds good. I proceeded to tell her about a beautiful picnic we had at a winery on Saturday (way to go Rachel) and we had these lil' sanny's with cheeses, etc on them. Oh, it was so good - good enough that I went out and bought some more cheeses on Monday 'cos I was obsessing over them. I told her what they were - soft cheeses - and she just about freaked out on me. She was like "Zann, don't you know, pregnant ladies aren't supposed to eat soft cheese." Obviously I didn't 'cos I was eating them on both Saturday and on Monday. She then went and grabbed one of her magazine's that she just got and read to me what I couldn't eat again. Soft cheese was on there.
But here's the good thing, the soft cheeses that they were referring to were cheeses like brie and goat cheeses that are not pasteurized. I grabbed my cheeses out of the fridge and thankfully, all of my cheeses were pasteurized. So, I don't have to throw them away or go take them to Rachel.
You're really deprived of some things when your pregnant and it seems like there's always something new you can't eat. Before it was like "don't drink, don't smoke and you should be fine." Now it's, "don't drink caffeine, no deli meat, no tuna, no soft cheese, no raw fish..." Geez, where's all the fun people? LOL...I'm kidding.
Jill will be glad so I'll post it here - the nausea is still here. I hate it but at the same time, I take it as a welcome sign 'cos it means my body is still making a nice lil' home for baby. Jill likes it (but hates it for my benefit) 'cos it gives her reassurance as well.
My booty...oh man! Last night was bad. I kind of wanted to cry. And for those that know me, I'm not someone that cries a lot or gives into pain. Heck, I walked on a broken ankle with 3 torn ligaments for a year before the Dr's finally did exploratory surgery to find out why I was still saying it hurt. Scotty and I were watching TV and I couldn't get comfortable. The injection sites are starting to burn a lil' during and after the shots. Don't know why but last night was bad. Hoping tonight is a lil' better.
Alright - enough blabbing from me.
Monday, August 25, 2008
...nothing exciting
I just wanted to give all of you an update of real nothingness.
Nothing new is really happening with me which sounds kind of boring. But a boring pregnancy is a good pregnancy in my opinion. I go in next Tuesday for another U/S which is always exciting and I'm going to take my camera this time and record the hearbeat. And if I can, I'll post it on here as well.
I do go this Friday for my last progesterone check bloodwork. If all is well, I get to stop the progesterone on Sunday or Monday - one of the two. So, that's good news as well. My butt has become so numb I don't even care where the shots happen, where as before, I would make sure to find a good spot. Tylenol has been helping with the soreness 'cos it was even hurting to walk. Now it just hurts when I bump into something with either side of my butt.
I had a good friend's bachelorette party this weekend which was SOOO much fun and I'm so glad that I was able to go. Left on Saturday night and got home and just crashed!! All day yesterday, I was wrecked - couldn't wake up. I totally thought I was going to have to take the day off today to just sleep but I woke up feeling great and refreshed. Phew...
So, that's me - in a nutshell. Updates to follow after Progesterone check and U/S on Monday.
Nothing new is really happening with me which sounds kind of boring. But a boring pregnancy is a good pregnancy in my opinion. I go in next Tuesday for another U/S which is always exciting and I'm going to take my camera this time and record the hearbeat. And if I can, I'll post it on here as well.
I do go this Friday for my last progesterone check bloodwork. If all is well, I get to stop the progesterone on Sunday or Monday - one of the two. So, that's good news as well. My butt has become so numb I don't even care where the shots happen, where as before, I would make sure to find a good spot. Tylenol has been helping with the soreness 'cos it was even hurting to walk. Now it just hurts when I bump into something with either side of my butt.
I had a good friend's bachelorette party this weekend which was SOOO much fun and I'm so glad that I was able to go. Left on Saturday night and got home and just crashed!! All day yesterday, I was wrecked - couldn't wake up. I totally thought I was going to have to take the day off today to just sleep but I woke up feeling great and refreshed. Phew...
So, that's me - in a nutshell. Updates to follow after Progesterone check and U/S on Monday.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
127bpm...
Well, I had another U/S yesterday and I apologize for the delay in posting!
The title of this post - 127bpm - is GREAT NEWS!! We saw the heartbeat and it was awesome. The lil' bugger's heart was beating 127 beats per minute. Nice and healthy. We are measuring right on schedule although they had the baby measured at 6weeks 6days rather than 7weeks exactly. According to Dr Acacio, anything within 3 days is perfect.
The U/S appt was quick and I can't help but say that I LOVE the midwife's office staff and her. They're just great!! Deena, the nurse, gave me a big hug when she heard we had a good strong heartbeat and Melissa, the U/S tech was going to take me back in for another U/S if I had my camera so we could record the heartbeat for Jill. They were all sad that Jill couldn't be there.
So, here's a picture from the U/S yesterday - a lil' bit clearer as I had some more time to play with the camera settings.
If you see the circle in the picture - that is the yolk sac. Right above it is the baby (find the + sign) and you'll see the line that goes to the right - that is baby Alcorn. The line is there to measure the baby and that tells the tech and Dr's that the baby is measuring right on schedule.
The title of this post - 127bpm - is GREAT NEWS!! We saw the heartbeat and it was awesome. The lil' bugger's heart was beating 127 beats per minute. Nice and healthy. We are measuring right on schedule although they had the baby measured at 6weeks 6days rather than 7weeks exactly. According to Dr Acacio, anything within 3 days is perfect.
The U/S appt was quick and I can't help but say that I LOVE the midwife's office staff and her. They're just great!! Deena, the nurse, gave me a big hug when she heard we had a good strong heartbeat and Melissa, the U/S tech was going to take me back in for another U/S if I had my camera so we could record the heartbeat for Jill. They were all sad that Jill couldn't be there.
So, here's a picture from the U/S yesterday - a lil' bit clearer as I had some more time to play with the camera settings.
If you see the circle in the picture - that is the yolk sac. Right above it is the baby (find the + sign) and you'll see the line that goes to the right - that is baby Alcorn. The line is there to measure the baby and that tells the tech and Dr's that the baby is measuring right on schedule.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
...oy vay!
Can I just be honest here and say that my butt hurts! I have 17 days left of shots and let me just say that my butt is ready for those things to stop. I would say for the last 2 weeks, it's just been getting worse and worse. I have the biggest knots on both cheeks and bruises all around. My left side is worse than my right but still, the right side hurts.
I CANNOT wait for these things to be over on the 31st. But I hear it'll take awhile for the knots and the bruising to go away.
I've been using the heating pad everynight. It's become my best friend and after I get a shot, I take my heating pad and sit on it. Maybe it's helping 'cos maybe it'd be hurting worse if I didn't use it...but boy oh boy...it still hurts!
Oh well - this is just me complaining today! Sorry.
Ultrasound on Monday afternoon - check back for an update then. Scotty and I are going up to Shaver Lake for the weekend (thanks to the Alcorns) for a lil' R&R. Woo hoo!
I CANNOT wait for these things to be over on the 31st. But I hear it'll take awhile for the knots and the bruising to go away.
I've been using the heating pad everynight. It's become my best friend and after I get a shot, I take my heating pad and sit on it. Maybe it's helping 'cos maybe it'd be hurting worse if I didn't use it...but boy oh boy...it still hurts!
Oh well - this is just me complaining today! Sorry.
Ultrasound on Monday afternoon - check back for an update then. Scotty and I are going up to Shaver Lake for the weekend (thanks to the Alcorns) for a lil' R&R. Woo hoo!
Monday, August 11, 2008
...the results are in!!
Well, we have 3 wonderful winners for the poll we did last week. Names to be announced shortly...just keep reading!
Jill and I had our first appointment today and it was great. Well, first and foremost it was great 'cos I got to meet up with Jill for a lil' lunchy-lunch at El Rosal. Got my Chilaquiles which made me really happy. (Funny story 'cos last time Jill and I were together, I kinda introduced her to chilaquiles and the whole time we ate, I had food envy 'cos I got something else.) Anyway, so we had lunch and then went to our appointment. We got there and the office was empty. We were laughing and at one point Jill goes "You know, people might think we're lesbians." And I just laughed 'cos I thought the same thing. But I'm comfortable with myself and people can think what they want. But I also said, "we'll just have to talk about our husbands A LOT." Too funny.
So we were called back and we met with Deena who is Rita's nurse or assistant or both, whatever. She was great. She went over all the do's/don'ts of pregnancy and all that fun stuff and just kind of learned a lil' bit about our past together and the surrogacy attempt in March and now this succesful pregnancy. And then we got to meet Rita. SOOO not what I pictured but totally amazing. I think why I wanted to go with a midwife this time is 'cos they are more involved with your pregnancy and wanting the best for you. Not that a Dr doesn't but I think there's a lil' more care for what you want/expect out of the pregnancy and birth when it comes to a midwife. I could tell the difference today in just the brief meeting we had with both Rita and Deena. After that, we got to have the U/S.
Went in and Melissa the tech tried to do a tummy ultrasound but unfortunately to get the info she wanted, we had to do the other kind. You really lose all sense of privacy after you have a kid and now especially doing this surrogacy. You care who see's you down there but you just don't at the same time. It's quite funny coming from the girl who didn't even want her own mom in the room when she delivered 'cos she didn't want her mom to see her "down there." (Needless to say, I didn't care who was in the room after 21hrs of labor - I just wanted Sebastien out). Anyway - sorry for that bunny trail. Melissa was able to confirm that we are in fact pregnant. I'm posting the U/S pic - it's fuzzy - but you can see what we saw today...
So, Sarah, Kristi and Jen all win. We have a singleton pregnancy. CONGRATULATIONS!
I go back on Monday for another U/S to confirm the heartbeat. We were somewhat able to see a heartbeat today but since the heart just starts beating in this week, it wasn't certain but Jill and the tech were able to see a pulsating light which resembled a heartbeat!! Yippee!!
Jill and I had our first appointment today and it was great. Well, first and foremost it was great 'cos I got to meet up with Jill for a lil' lunchy-lunch at El Rosal. Got my Chilaquiles which made me really happy. (Funny story 'cos last time Jill and I were together, I kinda introduced her to chilaquiles and the whole time we ate, I had food envy 'cos I got something else.) Anyway, so we had lunch and then went to our appointment. We got there and the office was empty. We were laughing and at one point Jill goes "You know, people might think we're lesbians." And I just laughed 'cos I thought the same thing. But I'm comfortable with myself and people can think what they want. But I also said, "we'll just have to talk about our husbands A LOT." Too funny.
So we were called back and we met with Deena who is Rita's nurse or assistant or both, whatever. She was great. She went over all the do's/don'ts of pregnancy and all that fun stuff and just kind of learned a lil' bit about our past together and the surrogacy attempt in March and now this succesful pregnancy. And then we got to meet Rita. SOOO not what I pictured but totally amazing. I think why I wanted to go with a midwife this time is 'cos they are more involved with your pregnancy and wanting the best for you. Not that a Dr doesn't but I think there's a lil' more care for what you want/expect out of the pregnancy and birth when it comes to a midwife. I could tell the difference today in just the brief meeting we had with both Rita and Deena. After that, we got to have the U/S.
Went in and Melissa the tech tried to do a tummy ultrasound but unfortunately to get the info she wanted, we had to do the other kind. You really lose all sense of privacy after you have a kid and now especially doing this surrogacy. You care who see's you down there but you just don't at the same time. It's quite funny coming from the girl who didn't even want her own mom in the room when she delivered 'cos she didn't want her mom to see her "down there." (Needless to say, I didn't care who was in the room after 21hrs of labor - I just wanted Sebastien out). Anyway - sorry for that bunny trail. Melissa was able to confirm that we are in fact pregnant. I'm posting the U/S pic - it's fuzzy - but you can see what we saw today...
So, Sarah, Kristi and Jen all win. We have a singleton pregnancy. CONGRATULATIONS!
I go back on Monday for another U/S to confirm the heartbeat. We were somewhat able to see a heartbeat today but since the heart just starts beating in this week, it wasn't certain but Jill and the tech were able to see a pulsating light which resembled a heartbeat!! Yippee!!
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