let it be said...

I AM A WHIMP!!!

That's right...you heard me. I'm a whimp. I don't know what it is but I can't do the Lupron injections. It sucks. It's a bit depressing and I almost cried a lil' on Saturday when I couldn't do it. I don't know what it is but I stand there at the kitchen counter, trying to talk myself into doing it and I just can't!!!! Mind over matter isn't working for me either.

I called my good friend Jen on Saturday morning to have her help me do it. If most of you remember, Jen was with me the first time I did an injection. I did it with no problem and I think I did it 'cos I couldn't whimp out in front of someone. So I called her and I said, I'm having trouble doing it...tell me I can do it. Bless her heart, she stayed on the phone with me for about 20 minutes while trying to pack, counting to 3 over and over and over and over. We tried the bribery method - "you can't have coffee till you do it." That didn't work. We tried positive reinforcements and that didn't work. Nothing did.

The sad thing is - I know it doesn't hurt. I know, I know, I know it doesn't hurt. But there's just something about me having a needle in my hand that is freaking me out this time around. It's a bit embarassing.

So, lucky for me - my mother in law lives right around the corner and I called her and asked her to do it for me. She so happliy obliged 'cos she loves this kind of stuff and came over shortly there after and was done in about 2.2 seconds. Did the same thing yesterday and the same thing today. I just don't think it's in me to do it anymore. Maybe I'll try it one of these mornings but who knows.

I think what happened was, my very last Lupron shot that I gave myself in the last round was a bit painful so I have a bad taste in my mouth. I went in a lil' sideways and left a bruise on my tummy that lasted for weeks. So, I think I'm just afraid that I'll do it wrong again.

Well, I guess that it's...the whimp shall sign out now!