Houston! We're having a baby!!!

It was so hard to keep it a secret and even Jill knew but on Tuesday, my numbers came back awesome. They were at 100. Anything about 5 is good. 25 is excellent - so you can imagine what 100 was like. It was the best news in the world. Good enough that even Dr Acacio called Jill with the results even though she didn't want to know.

We waited all afternoon this afternoon for a phone call and we just got word about 10 minutes ago that my numbers have doubled! I'm at 223! So they've actually more than doubled!

I'm so excited, and so relieved! WOO HOO!!!

aaackk...

Jill and I are both dying...

She just emailed me and asked if I'd heard anything and wanting to know what time they called on Tuesday. We're both sitting here dying to know what's going on. She'll call the office in 20 minutes if she hasn't heard anything.

Keep waiting and keep crossing those fingers and toes and saying those prayers!! PLEASE!!

HCG #2...DONE

Well, HCG #2 is done. I went again first thing this morning and I'm hoping to hear from Jill sometime this afternoon around 4'ish. The nerves are finally getting to me today. I'm just so anxious and feel like I'm sitting on pins and needles. I emailed Jill a lil' while ago and wished her luck too. LOL. I bet you she's even more nervous than I am.

So now we wait...and wait...and wait...

I'll update once I know something.

Oh, cool story too. The lab girl whom I've come to know since I frequent her often enough knows what's going on and today when I went in, she was telling me there's this other lady that comes in who is a surrogate for a couple in Italy. If I understood her right, she's surro'ed 2 babies previously for this couple and is working on their last one. So, my lil' lab tech girl is getting excited for me and hopes for the best for us as well. She's baffled as to how I could give the baby up though. And I've tried explaining to her that it's not my baby in any way, shape or form. Explained to her about the placenta filtering out even my blood, etc and she still couldn't wrap her head around. So, we just agreed - some people can do it, others can't. But nonetheless, she was amazed that we were doing this for James and Jill.

Alright - hopefully in about 4hrs, you guys can come back for an update...and a good POSITIVE one at that. Keep praying or doing whatever it is you do!

hcg #1...DONE

I went first thing this morning and got my first HCG test done. 2nd test to be completed on Thursday and then we'll know the final results. Sylvia will call Jill first and then Jill will call me. Same way it worked last time. So, keep praying for good results on Thursday.

I forgot to share a very cute story. One of my good friends Kasey's mom works as a labor/delivery/post partum nurse up in Fresno and she had left Kasey a message on the Saturday night of my transfer. It was saying how she just knew I was going to be pregnant this time around. She's been a nurse for 17yrs and in those 17yrs, she's only had 5 surrogacy pregnancies come through and give birth. And on that Saturday of our transfer, she took part of that 5th surrogacy pregancy birth. So, she was saying how it's a sign. So cute!!!

I'm still feeling really positive about this pregancy...still guarded...but still positive if that makes any sense. I think our chances were so good this time and according to Dr Acacio, my uterus was perfect for making babies. (Not tooting my own horn...at all...lol).

Anyway - I'll keep you all posted and thanks again for all the well wishes and postitive thoughts and prayers! They are muchly appreciated.

3 more days...

Alright...I'm getting excited. We'll find out this week. The weekend flew by and so I'm hoping this week does too. I go for the first HCG test tomorrow and then second one on Thursday morning. I'm just really trying to think positive and really thinking it worked this time. But at the same time, always being a lil' guarded...

I got the pictures from Jill from our trip to Dr Acacio's office. Okay - I had them posted but they were too big and I can't figure out how to make them smaller. If anyone knows how - please tell me. I have them in photobucket and I've shrunk them there but they won't shrink on the blog. Frustrating.

6 days post transfer...

Alright - 6 days down...6 to go!

This week has flown by and I can't believe it. It's been a lot easier this time to wait. Don't know what it is but it is. Maybe it's something to do with it being on a weekend. Who knows - whatever it is - I like it. I go in next Tuesday for the 1st HCG test with the 2nd one being on Thursday and then we should know Thursday afternoon. I think they called Jill about 3:30-4pm last time with the news.

Now, I don't know why I'm typing this 'cos I'm really trying to not get my hopes up or anything but I want you guys to know so you can keep praying. But we had friends over on Wed night for dinner and we made fish tacos (thanks to Jill giving me the idea) and we were making guacamole. The avocados were a lil' over ripe - much so that I thought they might be bad. Everyone smelled them and thought they were okay but to me, they smelled like cake that had sat out too long and had spoiled. I really couldn't eat it 'cos it just smelled funk to me. Then last night, me and the boys were playing on the couch and Scotty was prepping his ribs that he's smoking today (yummy!!) and I started smelling something funky again. I stared checking Spencer's diaper and asking Sebastien if he farted but it just stunk. Finally, I asked Scotty - is that the ribs that stink. He smelled them...said "yep, it smells like a butcher shop." Smelled normal to him but to me, I was disgusted...even left the house and took the boys for a walk/bike ride (not me on the bike) over to his moms house to get a shot. We were talking and I made mention of the ribs stinking about the house and she looks at me and goes "Zann, you're pregnant." Then it was like a lightbulb - sensitive to smells = sign of pregnancy. So, I told her about the night before about the avocados and she got excited. I came home and told Scotty and he just got a big smile on his face.

Now, I'm not trying to read into but I think having hope doesn't hurt! So, keep praying everyone!!

...and now the wait!!!

Well, it's 5:20pm and I just got back to my mom's house. Jill has boarded her plane and on her way back to Reno to go spend a week in Tahoe.

Jill and I have had a good but busy 2 days. She got in yesterday at 4:15pm and I made it to Long Beach from Visalia at 4pm. Just in time to pickup Jill from the airport. Came back to my mom's, picked her up and changed and went out to dinner. Then Jill and I went to Manhattan Beach and met up with my 2 girlfriends from Rock-It and had a few drinks and headed home pretty late. (Oh the days of being single and no kids). This morning, we got up late (8:45am) and got ready and went out to Schooner or Later for a great breakfast. Then we came home, picked up Jill's bags and headed out to the OC to see my girlfriend who just had a baby and I got to meet her new lil' girl. From there, we headed to Dr Acacio's office.

We got to Dr Acacio's at about 1:30, soon after, Dr Acacio pulled up and he took us in. The transfer was supposed to happen at about 2:30 and at 2:30 we were still waiting to find out what the status of the embryo's were, etc. As we were sitting there, we got more and more nervous as to what was going on. Was Dr Acacio sitting in his office figuring out how to break the news that none survived. But then, we started thinking positive that he's trying to figure out which are the best ones to implant. Finally we learned that they embryologist was running late and of course we had to wait for her.

Finally at about 2:45, Dr A came in and said that we had 2 GREAT looking embryo's and 1 that was not as good but still good. He felt confident that the 2 would produce a succesful pregnancy but if we wanted to be agressive, he would put 3 in. There was no question - we put 3 embryo's in.

So, at 3:02pm, 3 small lil' embryo's were implanted in me and we couldn't help but smile. Dr Acacio said that there is about a 70-75% chance of success and he feels really confident that we will get a positive pregnancy from this transfer. My uterus looked great, my lining was perfect - and we have 3 fresh embryo's.

I will do my first HCG test on Tuesday, July 29th and then my second one on Thursday, July 31st. I will know that afternoon what kind of results we're looking at.

CROSS THOSE FINGERS & TOES, SAY YOUR PRAYERS and HOPE, HOPE, HOPE!!

Oh, and we did get pictures this time. Jill and I in our hairnets. But you will have to wait. Jill got them all and she's in Tahoe for a week vacation!! Oh the suspense...

19 eggs...

Jill just called and they got 19 eggs this morning. That's good news. So now we see how many fertilize. And then from there, we see if we can do genetic testing or see how the embryo's rate, etc. So, it's still up in the air as to how many will be transferred. But 19 is a good start!

...it's now saturday

So, I heard from Jill and Dr Acacio wants to wait one more day. So, they are going to do the retrieval on Monday now which puts us at a Saturday transfer. So, I think Jill will try to take another half day and fly out on Friday afternoon/early evening and then we'll do the transfer on Saturday. I think she'll fly out on Saturday night after the transfer 'cos I believe her and James have company coming to town that night/weekend for the start of their vacation. It's working out good 'cos I think Scotty might come down with me for the transfer as well.

the update...

So, we had a VERY long weekend with the 4th of July holiday and Scotty's birthday. It was a good time to be had by all. Unfortunately, the long weekend robbed me of my memory. I had a crazy morning with work (a shipment didn't reach it's final destination as planned and I had a pissed off customer) and at 11:21am, I looked at my computer and the lil' BRITE PINK Post-It note stared back at me :

ULTRASOUND / MONDAY MORNING 10:30am - Bakersfield

I panicked! I called Dr A's office and told Kim what happened but as soon as I got on the phone with her, I realized I needed to have bloodwork done too. And I needed to get to the lab by 11:30am so I could get results same day! Holy snikes I felt horrible. I hopped in the car and made it to the lab in 2.2 seconds - no joke. I had my blood drawn and was on my way back home by 11:34am. No joke. Seriously - I have no idea how that happened but I LOVE SMALL TOWNS. I did have to make the lab's courier wait about 2 minutes but it wasn't that bad. Thankfully I had made friends (well, you know...been friendly the last time I was there) with the lab tech so she was willing to help me out. Once I got the bloodwork, I had the # for the U/S office in Bakersfield and I called them. Rescheduled for Tuesday at 2pm. I wasn't going to forget this time.

Jill had her U/S first on Tuesday and she called and left a couple messages for me. (My phone died) and we got great news. She had 20 follicles which means she's going to have plenty of eggs. Dr A was happy with what he saw and they scheduled her second U/S for Thursday.

My U/S came back good. My lining is nice and thick and my bloodwork came back with my estradiol level at 416 I believe. So, Sylvia said it was good and all was going as planned.

It's now Thursday and Jill's second U/S was scheduled for this morning and I've yet to hear from her. I know James is flying in today/tonight to do his part and from what I understood yesterday, they would trigger Jill on Friday and then they'd retrieve from her on Sunday. Which puts us at a transfer next Friday!

CRAZY! Next Friday right now is the day.

I asked Jill about the genetic testing and for those of you curious :

The PGD testing (genetic) is only on the viable looking embryos - and we have to produce enough to make it worthwhile. So if we only have 3 grade A types or however they grade it, he will not recommend it. But if we have 8 or 9 or so, it'll be worth it to have the lab do the testing. The test only looks at half the chromosomes though so we can rule out a bad embryo but not necessarily prove it to be a perfect one.

I know that kind of helped me understand it and how evasive the testing is. I'm really looking forward to this transfer. I think there's a lot of hope to be had!!

the plan so far...

So, this time is a bit different since we're doing a fresh cycle. There's no set date for the transfer as it all depends on when Jill's body produces enough follicles to where they will trigger the ovulation to retrieve the eggs. So, I'll tell you what I know as of Wednesday morning, July 2nd...

Jill flies out over the weekend to LA and her first appointment is on Tuesday morning in which she will have an ultrasound. At that point, they will either determine when they will do the retrieval or they will say we need to wait a few days and do another ultrasound to check follicles. Now, when Dr Acacio is happy with what he sees, they will give Jill a shot that will trigger ovulation and 36hrs from the time she receives that shot is when they will retrieve all her lil' eggs. James has his ticket booked to fly in on Thursday to meet Jill and Dr Acacio and make his contribution. (And when I say James flies in on Thursday - it doesn't mean the retrieval will be Thursday).

So, once the retrieval is done, I will know exactly when I have to be down for the transfer. Depending on the amount of eggs that are retrieved, Jill and James have decided to do genetic testing to make sure that these lil' embryo's are good and healthy. Basically, if they have more than 3 embryos, they will do the genetic testing. If there is only 3 or less than 3, they will go ahead and transfer all 3 without doing the genetic testing. Reason being, with genetic testing, there is a chance that one of the embryos could not make it so they'd rather not run that risk. But if there is more than 3, they will do the genentic testing. So as of now, the plan is to transfer 5 day embryo's into me sometime between the 14-18th.

It's coming up quicker than I thought it would and it's a bit insane to think that it's just 2 weeks away. I guess you can say I've been a lil' guarded this time and as I was talking about it last night with some great friends of ours, I realized that I was a lil' naive last time. I know I thought everything was going to work out perfect and we were going to make James and Jill's dream of having a family happen. I guess I just pushed aside the factors against us and was naive. This time, I feel more guarded 'cos it is devastating to learn it didn't work.

My goal here is the same as last time. It was great to talk about it last night again and get that excitement back. I want James and Jill to experience the joy of holding their own child. Gazing into their lil' ones eyes. Hearing them laugh for the first time, hearing them giggle for the first time. All those joys - that's what I want more than anything for James and Jill. I still can't fathom not being able to have my own children and I don't know how Jill has coped with it. I know it hasn't been easy and that's why I just want to see so badly her holding her own child in her arms. I really want this to work this time and I hope the fresh embryos and the chance of transfering more than one will give us a great success rate!!

So, I think that's it for the day. If you would, just keep all of us in prayer over the next 2 weeks. I know we would all appreciate that.